Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:04 AM
Subject: Do you know any good recruiters?
So, that trip I'm supposed to go on tomorrow? They want me to BE IN MINNEAPOLIS at 7:30. AM! Supposedly I need to be on a flight out of Midway that gets in at 7:30. Which means it leaves around 5:45. Which means I have to be at the airport at 4:30. MIDWAY. As in, "the other side of town" MIDWAY. So I'd have to leave my house by 4. Get up by 3. And then sit in meetings from 8AM to 3PM. I'm sorry but that is so very not going to happen.
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:07 AM
Subject: Tomorrow's trip to MN
Unfortunately something urgent has come up - family emergency. I won't be able to make Thursday's meeting after all. But good luck!!!!!
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:09 AM
Subject: Not kidding
I hear Trader Joe's pays their employees really well. And they always seem so happy. I wonder if they are hiring.
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:19 AM
Subject: Re: Tomorrow's trip to MN
No, I CANNOT fly in tonight, and I feel it's very presumptuous of you to assume that I'm making up a family emergency simply to avoid an early morning flight. A ridiculously early morning flight, I might add. I mean, 5:45, let's be serious here. But hey, come and listen to the message from my mom if you want.
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:20 AM
Please call my phone and leave me a voicemail pretending to be my mom. Say there's a family emergency and I need to come home for a few days. Cry a little, if you can. Thanks!
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:26 AM
Subject: Re: Not kidding
Hmmm, a barista isn't a bad idea either. They don't make very much money though, do they? I need cash. Maybe I should be a stripper.
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:28 AM
Subject: My fat ass
We're still starting the South Beach Diet tomorrow, right? I need to lose 15 pounds fast, my backup career plan depends on it. Maybe we should try TrimSpa?? It worked for Anna Nicole...
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:40 AM
Subject: Re: FW: Re: Tomorrow's trip to MN
Fine. I will be on the 5:45 flight.
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:41 AM
I have to go. But before I leave I'm pooping in the corner of his office.
5:45 MY FAT ASS.
Sent: Wed 2/28/2007 9:45 AM
Subject: Good news!
Family emergency has been averted! I will be in MN at 7:30. Looking forward to seeing you then!
UPDATE: Trip cancelled due to impending blizzard. Yay!