Ad Nauseum
Dear Governor Rod Blagojevich,
I have an important matter to discuss with you. And no, it's not like that time you were on the Daily Show and got confused because you thought it was the real news. This is serious.
Maybe you politicians don't realize this but the general public views election season with a sense of dread. We know that in the weeks and months leading up to it, we're going to be subjected to a lot of boring/insipid/spiteful political ads right smack in the middle of our favorite TV shows. "My husband would make a great Senator because he loves our kids!" "Too bad about that other guy's massive brain stroke. Vote for me!" Unless you're one of those lucky Tivo people, it's enough to make you want to slit your wrists with the broken shards of TV screen littering your living room rug.
But we suffer through it. And do you know why? Because we know that as soon as the election is over all this nonsense will stop. We will have regular commercials about foot fungus and cell phones to look forward to again. And that's what makes this latest stunt of yours all the more heinous, Gov. We thought we were safe. And you blatantly abused that trust.
You are up for re-election in November. It is now May. May is 6 months before November, at least according to the calendar with all the puppies on it hanging next to my desk. SIX MONTHS. And so maybe you won't mind explaining to me and all the other innocent citizens of Illinois why we have to see those horrible, terrible, ungodly bad "Judy Baar Topinka - what's she THINKING?!" commercials on TV every 5 minutes.
Okay. So Judy B. thinks a rolling pin is an assault weapon. Boy, that's pretty dumb. But you know what's dumber? Annoying an entire state full of voters who may actually agree with you that the woman belongs in a loony bin but could very well walk into that booth and pull the lever with her name on it anyway just because we're sick and damn tired of not being able to watch the damn news without hearing "What's she THINKING?!" literally every five minutes for the past six damn months.
Seriously, G-Rod. Stop the madness. Put those commercials out of their misery at least until October, when we're all mentally prepared for this level of irritation. And maybe take $15 of the money you'll save and pay a little visit to Big Hair on Roscoe. Lily will hook you up.
Your friend,
Tequila Red
What's he thinking?!?
I have an important matter to discuss with you. And no, it's not like that time you were on the Daily Show and got confused because you thought it was the real news. This is serious.
Maybe you politicians don't realize this but the general public views election season with a sense of dread. We know that in the weeks and months leading up to it, we're going to be subjected to a lot of boring/insipid/spiteful political ads right smack in the middle of our favorite TV shows. "My husband would make a great Senator because he loves our kids!" "Too bad about that other guy's massive brain stroke. Vote for me!" Unless you're one of those lucky Tivo people, it's enough to make you want to slit your wrists with the broken shards of TV screen littering your living room rug.
But we suffer through it. And do you know why? Because we know that as soon as the election is over all this nonsense will stop. We will have regular commercials about foot fungus and cell phones to look forward to again. And that's what makes this latest stunt of yours all the more heinous, Gov. We thought we were safe. And you blatantly abused that trust.
You are up for re-election in November. It is now May. May is 6 months before November, at least according to the calendar with all the puppies on it hanging next to my desk. SIX MONTHS. And so maybe you won't mind explaining to me and all the other innocent citizens of Illinois why we have to see those horrible, terrible, ungodly bad "Judy Baar Topinka - what's she THINKING?!" commercials on TV every 5 minutes.
Okay. So Judy B. thinks a rolling pin is an assault weapon. Boy, that's pretty dumb. But you know what's dumber? Annoying an entire state full of voters who may actually agree with you that the woman belongs in a loony bin but could very well walk into that booth and pull the lever with her name on it anyway just because we're sick and damn tired of not being able to watch the damn news without hearing "What's she THINKING?!" literally every five minutes for the past six damn months.
Seriously, G-Rod. Stop the madness. Put those commercials out of their misery at least until October, when we're all mentally prepared for this level of irritation. And maybe take $15 of the money you'll save and pay a little visit to Big Hair on Roscoe. Lily will hook you up.
Your friend,
Tequila Red
What's he thinking?!?