Ciao, Bella

Now THAT was a party! People I haven't seen in years, all in the same room, for little ole me. LOVE IT! And, guess who limited herself to three drinks over 5+ hours and had lots and lots of water and is living a blissfully hangover-free, embarrassing-photo-free existence today. Give up? It's me! Go me! And, it was still fun! And I still have money leftover! This new sobriety thing is the shit.

I know I promised you pics, but I forgot to contemplate how I would upload them without my nifty work Mac laptop. This ancient dinosaur of a PC doesn't even know what a digital camera is. You're not missing much though: I took them all myself in my patented Self Portrait style, so they all look the exact same, it's just different people standing next to me.

Here's a pic my friend sent of me with Erika and my going away present: Kari Kash for Craigslisting! Woo hoo! Do they know me well or what?


$157 of vintage possibility

To everyone who came out: I LOVE YOU GUYS! LOVE LOVE LOVE. I took a lot of heat for discontinuing the blog, but that just means you'll all have to TALK to me to catch up on life, not just click a button and read about it. Take that!

To all of you: xo. Miss you already.

Love,
Kari

Tequila Red is Dead

When I started this blog three years ago, my life was completely different.Then, I was a copywriter content to fly under the radar, with a lot of free time on my hands and the desperate need for a creative outlet. Now, I'm a creative director starting a new job in a new place with a lot of new responsibilities. Then, I was the perpetual single girl, unlucky in love, a slew of hilariously bad dates under my belt. So to speak. Ahem. Now, I'm building a future with a man who is so loving and generous and funny that I have to pinch him now and then to make sure he's real. He is, and he really hates that pinching thing.

I've grown these past three years, changed in every way for the better, I think. Better mom. Better daughter. Better friend. This blog has changed a lot too. I'll be the first to admit, it was a damn sight funnier when my life was full of wacky hijinks and evil boyfriends and theme parties that ended at dawn. As one of my friends noted, it's easier to be hilarious when your life sucks. So as I've changed, this blog evolved too. It became more of a commentary on life with kids, life in a relationship, life in flux. Sometimes it's boring. It's been kind of hard for me to stick with, to be honest, and I've wandered away for long stretches. Now it's time to pull the plug on Tequila Red for real.

To each and every one of you reading this: thank you. It never fails to blow me away when I click on my stat counter and see that people across the country - even the world - care about what I have to say. It's odd, and surreal, and wonderful. Thank you for reading along. If you're looking for a replacement on your bookmarks folder, I suggest checking out the sidebar over there on the left. There are a lot of witty, insightful folks ready and waiting to make you laugh, sigh, or think about something a little differently. Give them a try.

Thursday will be my final post on this blog. We'll go out on a party note, with photos of the big farewell bash on Wednesday. One last theme party, "The Good Old Days."

It seems only right.

Weekend Happenings

Nice, relaxing weekend. Got the little desk all sanded and primed. Watched Super Troopers. Brother's wife had a baby.

!!!!!!!!

Welcome to the world, little Logan!

[This is where I would put a photo if anyone in my family loved me enough to send one.]

[[Also, no one has bothered to tell me his middle name. Jerks.]]

PS Happy birthday to said brother and also my sis Amy, who both turned 30 this weekend.

God DAMN we are so old.

I See London

Last night I got drunk and flashed everybody I work with.

They are really going to miss me around here.

Child Labor

On hot days, there is a little girl who sells lemonade down the block from my train stop. The first day I saw her, I thought it was cute. I didn't have any cash on me at all so I shook my head at her offer, but I smiled as I walked by.

She was there again the next day, her mom hovering in the background with re-inforcements. They had a customer, so I didn't stop. But I heard the lady standing there with her wallet say, "A dollar a cup?" Yeah, that's kind of steep for a small Dixie cup of Countrytime, but it was over 90 degrees with 95% humidity. Supply and demand, my friends.

Two days later the little girl was selling lemonade again. I noticed Mom holding a big pickle jar full of money. Business was good.

But apparently not good enough. Last week, the little girl and her pickle-jar-carrying mother relocated to directly in front of the train exit. The little girl was now giving her shill in a creepy repetitive chant. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME LEMONADE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME LEMONADE." The entourage had grown to include several adults, all of whom were visibly thrilled by this new cash flow. They pushed the girl out into the middle of the departing throng and started filling cups. Most people, like me, murmured a no thank you and hurried along. Nobody wanted to hurt her feelings but there was something disturbing and distasteful about the adult profit motive clearly at play.

No, honey, I don't want to buy any lemonade. But here's a buck to go tell your mom to find her own fucking job and let you be a kid. You've got your whole life to work. But you only have so many lemonade stands.

Pictionary

OLIVIA: I can't draw this one. I don't even know what it is.
DYLAN: Here, let me see that.
TR: What does it say?
DYLAN: "Hunchback of Notre Dame." What do you mean, you know don't know that one?!
OLIVIA: You know I don't know about sports!
OLIVIA'S FRIEND: It's not sports, dummy, it's a Disney movie.

Big News

After seven years here at the Jeeb, I handed in my resignation yesterday. Then I went to the bar with some co-workers and got drunk. Then I called everyone I knew to invite them to my farewell happy hour (August 29th! Save the date! Location TBD!). Then I went home and drank wine. Then I drunk dialed a few more people (sorry Mom), and also called my sister in Japan. Then I cried because I miss my sister in Japan. Then I went to bed.

I'm kind of hungover right now. But, yay, new job!


New title: Queen of the World

It was a hard decision, though, because I truly adore the people here. And, I was promoted the day before I quit. Whoops. But the new position is rocking cool and there's a lot of room for growth and my new boss is a friend of a friend, so he's probably not psychotic or evil. Always a plus.

It's going to be a little scary to be the New Girl again. I think the occasion calls for a saucy new New Girl outift.

Songs for Peacing Out
Sugarland, "Something More"
"Bye Bye Baby," OK Go
"Goodbye Girl," Squeeze
"Thanks That Was Fun," BNL

I Scream, You Scream

I'm a little hoarse today.



1 rock concert + 1 amusement park = 1 screamalicious weekend.

SATURDAY!
The Old 97's rocked out a street fest in Little Italy, where I happened to run into my favorite tall blonde drink of G&T. She was there with a friend who is a major Old 97's fan like me, but it was Megan's first show and I'm afraid we didn't break her in gently. In fact, the booty-shaking, fist-pumping, and lyrics-screaming that occured is slightly embarrassing in retrospect, but also completely beyond my control. Look, I don't go out that much anymore, so an Old 97's show is like New Year's Eve, my birthday, and Mardi Gras all wrapped up in one. And the band BROUGHT IT. Four Leaf Clover! Over a Cliff! A Ranchero Brothers song! I danced until my dress was plastered to my body with sweat.



Dear Guy Standing In Front of Me:
I'm sure the hearing in your left ear will return sometime in the next couple of days. I mean, I hope so.

Sorry,
Tequila Red



Megs, if you want to hear all the goodness minus me yelling out all the words, click here and download away!

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!
It was the last day to use the $10 Great America tickets Josh got from his company, so we grabbed up Crystal and James and headed to Gurnee. Despite the temps and the crowds, good times were had by all. Except for Cousin Matt, who was supposed to come but wasn't ready in time. Dude, you didn't miss much. (PSYCH! IT WAS RAD!)



Happy belated birthday, mamacita!

Sylvester lives a dream

Transparency

So I'm working on this top secret project, see. Except it's a lot less secret than I would like. Because I have a big mouth. And I am not subtle. And many things anger me. And I'm not shy about it. Because I have a big mouth.

And so on and so forth.

* * * * *

Here's another project I am working on this week:


A couple coats of white paint, some new Anthropologie knobs, and this gal will be gorgeous. Not bad for $20, thank you Craigslist!

* * * * *
The other day I went shopping to see if I could find a small birthday gift for one of the writers who works for me. I wanted a sweet little wallet or handbag, but nothing I found looked right. So I bought myself a pair of super-cute red shoes instead. Happy Birthday, Leah! Hope you liked the card!

Thin Mints

TEQUILA RED: [flipping through magazine] I love this dress.
COWORKER: So cute!
TEQUILA RED: Except all that khaki would make me look like a Girl Scout.
COWORKER: If your boobs were Girl Scout cookies, what would they be called?
TEQUILA RED: Um, Oreolas. Duh.
COWORKER: Nice.