Open Letters

Dear Shell Woods:

Here's to kicking real booty on LSAT Sat. Get it done, girl!

Your future client,

Tequila Red

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Dear Modest Mouse,

The Aragon? Really?

Saving my $36,

Tequila Red

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Dear Women of Chicago:

For the love of god, stop wearing these already:

No, seriously. Just stop. STOP. The whole "UGGS" and "poncho" thing has already pushed me to the edge. Right now I'm a Burberry scarf away from knocking you in front of a bus.

Hats off,

Tequila Red

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Dear Train Boyfriend:

That was pretty funny how you faked like you were walking over to talk to me last night but then you just stood next to me and listened to your headphones instead. Boy, you had me going there for a second! Tell you what. You're shy, I'm not that shy, so I may just go ahead and make the first move here. But if I slip you my number and you don't call it? You'll want to start looking for a new place to catch the train.

Losing Patience,

Tequila Red

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Dear Kevin White:

Looks like your boyfriend Urban Meyer is headed to the University of Florida.

HA HA HA HA HA! You got punk'd! Sucka!

No love,

Tequila Red

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Dear Radiohead,

Thanks for not breaking up yesterday. Also, thanks for OK Computer. And most of Kid A.

XOXO,

Tequila Red