A Bad Sign
How to tell if your date is reconsidering her crush:
1. She asks her sister to come sit on the couch and watch the movie with you.
2. She drags her sister in from the next room to come sit on the couch and watch the movie with you.
3. She curses her sister for going to bed at the completely unreasonable hour of 11:30, that ho.
4. She won't kiss you.
5. She wants to leave the house and go to a crowded bar because a guy she likes works there.
6. She makes you leave the bar when that guy is not working.
7. She flirts with the geezer behind the counter at the 7-11 when you go in to buy more beer.
8. She drinks more than you do.
9. She still won't kiss you.
10. She goes to the bathroom and comes back in flannel pajamas.
11. She yawns theatrically and then feigns sleep on the couch.
12. She finally kisses you but can't breathe when you try to swallow her entire face.
13. You ask for another date and she says, "Okey-dokey! I'll call you!"
14. She doesn't have your number.
15. She doesn't have a phone.
16. She mocks you to all the world in her blog the next day.
Poor guy. He's actually very sweet and smart and cute and blah blah blah. But the sexy self-assurance he had the night we met has totally vamoosed. Also missing: a little thing I like to call Chemistry. I'm not sure what happened, but it was kind of like going on a date with your friend's little brother or something. And he's older than me.
I'm almost tempted to see him one more time though. I mean, anyone can be thrown off their game by a bad case of nerves, right? And I really liked him the night we met. I know what you're thinking: I bring this shit on myself. You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. You wouldn't want me any other waaaaaaaaaaaay.
Dating Advice From Tequila Red
French movies about brothers and sisters who have disturbing and highly graphic sexual encounters are not the best choice for a first date. Dorky comedies, horror films, and movies where a lot of stuff gets blown up are all far less likely to make you look like a complete perv. Just an FYI.
1. She asks her sister to come sit on the couch and watch the movie with you.
2. She drags her sister in from the next room to come sit on the couch and watch the movie with you.
3. She curses her sister for going to bed at the completely unreasonable hour of 11:30, that ho.
4. She won't kiss you.
5. She wants to leave the house and go to a crowded bar because a guy she likes works there.
6. She makes you leave the bar when that guy is not working.
7. She flirts with the geezer behind the counter at the 7-11 when you go in to buy more beer.
8. She drinks more than you do.
9. She still won't kiss you.
10. She goes to the bathroom and comes back in flannel pajamas.
11. She yawns theatrically and then feigns sleep on the couch.
12. She finally kisses you but can't breathe when you try to swallow her entire face.
13. You ask for another date and she says, "Okey-dokey! I'll call you!"
14. She doesn't have your number.
15. She doesn't have a phone.
16. She mocks you to all the world in her blog the next day.
Poor guy. He's actually very sweet and smart and cute and blah blah blah. But the sexy self-assurance he had the night we met has totally vamoosed. Also missing: a little thing I like to call Chemistry. I'm not sure what happened, but it was kind of like going on a date with your friend's little brother or something. And he's older than me.
I'm almost tempted to see him one more time though. I mean, anyone can be thrown off their game by a bad case of nerves, right? And I really liked him the night we met. I know what you're thinking: I bring this shit on myself. You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. You wouldn't want me any other waaaaaaaaaaaay.
Dating Advice From Tequila Red
French movies about brothers and sisters who have disturbing and highly graphic sexual encounters are not the best choice for a first date. Dorky comedies, horror films, and movies where a lot of stuff gets blown up are all far less likely to make you look like a complete perv. Just an FYI.
Tequila Red called it a day @ 9:35 AM
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