I Believe You Have My Stapler

Today is Annual Review Day for me too. My favorite part of the process is the dumbshit questionnaire they make you fill out in advance. Crap like, "How does this person contribute to the Agency growth and strive to make a DIFFERENCE?" I find that a fun way to shake things up is to start off your answer in office-speak and then tack on inappropriate stuff at the end. So a good answer to the above question would be: "I suggested that all presentations, even non-creative ones, come through me for proofreading first, so the agency looks smart and buttoned down. Speaking of buttons, I also wear a lot of lowcut tops, which is helpful for agency morale." Usually my boss is mostly amused and only slightly exasperated, but he kicked this one back for some reason.

Q. What is one innovative BIG IDEA this person brought to the business?
A. When asked to join the Stamford team on the Sc----- pitch, Peggy and I came up with an arresting, 100% on-strategy TV commercial that would have undoubtedly been a feather in The Jeeb's cap, had the stupid clients not gone and gotten themselves fired. Jerks.

Hmm, I smell a raise!
"Step Into My Office Baby" - B&S

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Bye Bye Baby
Today is Crystal's last day as our receptionist, since that tramp went and got herself a better job. The men in our office are inconsolable.

¡Hot mamacita!
I'm bummed too, because now I'll have to spend the first half hour of my day actually working instead of gossiping about last night's antics over coffee. The new receptionist does not seem all that receptive.

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Songs I'd Like to Hear Live This Weekend But Won't
Gore Gore Girls - "Up All Night"
Modest Mouse - "Neverending Math Equation (live)"
M Ward - "Carolina"