Cupid is Stupid
Valentine's Day blows. I thought so when I was single, and having a boyfriend has not changed my opinion. Don't try to give me that party line about love and romance because being forced to show you care about someone by purchasing them gifts isn't romantic, it's CHRISTMAS, and it just happened six weeks ago.
I hate every single thing about Valentine's Day. I hate the commercials that portray men as too lazy or stupid to choose a present for the person they should know better than anyone. I hate commercials that portray women as greedy, competitive harpies with sky-high Hollywood expectations. I really hate the commercial where Cupid says that KY jelly is the perfect Valentine’s Gift, because no. No, it’s not.
I hate stuffed dogs that say “I Ruff You,” and tacky heart-shaped pendants from Penny's, and chocolate covered everything. I hate stupid sappy rhyming cards with velvet roses on the front. I hate roses, especially roses from the grocery store, and don’t think we can’t tell either, because that baby's breath is a dead giveaway. I don’t need bubble bath, perfume, a picture frame, or a back massager. I don’t want an overpriced dinner in an overcrowded restaurant where every 20 minutes some girl finds a diamond in her tiramisu and shrieks with fake surprise. I do not want to be one of those girls.
This weekend my boyfriend installed a new side mirror on my car, to replace the one scraped off by that taxi. Insurance wasn't covering it so he went online, found the right one, ordered it, and installed it.
In my book, that says "I love you" better than a gift certificate for a Brazillian wax ever could.
the only dozen of anything I want from Jewel
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Project HOOSIER
It went from being a toss-off on Friday afternoon to becoming a full-fledged plan. In a year I'd like to A) leave the city and move somewhere more slow-paced and with more space, probably in Indiana (go ahead: mock), B) find a job that makes me feel like less of an asshole, and C) stop throwing away a small fortune on rent. The kids, it should be noted, are all over this plan like stink on a pig. Look, I'm already talking country!
Step One: get out of debt. Sadly, this means no birthday trip to Tokyo.
Shut Up, Grey's Anatomy
"It was lavender. My hair smelled like lavender." Somewhere Cindy Adams is thinking Jeepers, I could write better dialogue than that.
AKA
This weekend I got a wedding invitation addressed to Ms. Tequila Red & Mr. Concert Josh. I love the internet.
I hate every single thing about Valentine's Day. I hate the commercials that portray men as too lazy or stupid to choose a present for the person they should know better than anyone. I hate commercials that portray women as greedy, competitive harpies with sky-high Hollywood expectations. I really hate the commercial where Cupid says that KY jelly is the perfect Valentine’s Gift, because no. No, it’s not.
I hate stuffed dogs that say “I Ruff You,” and tacky heart-shaped pendants from Penny's, and chocolate covered everything. I hate stupid sappy rhyming cards with velvet roses on the front. I hate roses, especially roses from the grocery store, and don’t think we can’t tell either, because that baby's breath is a dead giveaway. I don’t need bubble bath, perfume, a picture frame, or a back massager. I don’t want an overpriced dinner in an overcrowded restaurant where every 20 minutes some girl finds a diamond in her tiramisu and shrieks with fake surprise. I do not want to be one of those girls.
This weekend my boyfriend installed a new side mirror on my car, to replace the one scraped off by that taxi. Insurance wasn't covering it so he went online, found the right one, ordered it, and installed it.
In my book, that says "I love you" better than a gift certificate for a Brazillian wax ever could.
the only dozen of anything I want from Jewel
Project HOOSIER
It went from being a toss-off on Friday afternoon to becoming a full-fledged plan. In a year I'd like to A) leave the city and move somewhere more slow-paced and with more space, probably in Indiana (go ahead: mock), B) find a job that makes me feel like less of an asshole, and C) stop throwing away a small fortune on rent. The kids, it should be noted, are all over this plan like stink on a pig. Look, I'm already talking country!
Step One: get out of debt. Sadly, this means no birthday trip to Tokyo.
Shut Up, Grey's Anatomy
"It was lavender. My hair smelled like lavender." Somewhere Cindy Adams is thinking Jeepers, I could write better dialogue than that.
AKA
This weekend I got a wedding invitation addressed to Ms. Tequila Red & Mr. Concert Josh. I love the internet.
Tequila Red called it a day @ 12:09 PM
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