Why Not?
Turn a regular old boring weekend into a super fly weekend of fun!
Here's how:
FRIDAY
Instead Of
Having a nice quiet lunch with the CEO of your company ...
Why Don't You
... have an insane lunch with the CEO of your company at an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day. Drink 5 beers and demand a raise. Come back to work trashed and immediately call your boyfriend to come pick you up. Walk around agency with a beer in each hand until he gets there. Be disinvited to important meeting. Steal unattended cigarette.
Instead Of
Waiting until you have sobered up to call your mother and wish her a happy birthday...
Why Don't You
... call her while you're wasted. But first, make sure you somehow accidentally call her boss. Who is on vacation. I'm not sure how that happened, actually. Tell him to buy your Moms something pretty for her b-day. Like a raise.
SATURDAY
Instead Of
Going to a peace protest ...
Why Don't You...
... go to an Arctic Monkeys concert instead. Get there late and stand in something sticky. Four songs into the show, ditch Boyfriend and Friend of Boyfriend and go to the bar next door. Talk on cell phone and flirt with bartender who looks like Heath Ledger. Try to decide if the hipster boy across the room is a guy you used to date. LAST YEAR. Curse poor memory. Look for unattended cigarettes.
SUNDAY
Instead Of
Laying around the house all day in your underwear ...
Why Don't You
... put on some pants and go check out the new Warhol exhibit at the MCA. Pretend to understand weirdo "Screen Test" videos of his freaky friends just staring at the camera. Decide it's okay to like the giant cat skeleton in the lobby better. Congratulate yourself on doing something cultural. Go home and watch TV in your underwear.
Here's how:
Instead Of
Having a nice quiet lunch with the CEO of your company ...
Why Don't You
... have an insane lunch with the CEO of your company at an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day. Drink 5 beers and demand a raise. Come back to work trashed and immediately call your boyfriend to come pick you up. Walk around agency with a beer in each hand until he gets there. Be disinvited to important meeting. Steal unattended cigarette.
Instead Of
Waiting until you have sobered up to call your mother and wish her a happy birthday...
Why Don't You
... call her while you're wasted. But first, make sure you somehow accidentally call her boss. Who is on vacation. I'm not sure how that happened, actually. Tell him to buy your Moms something pretty for her b-day. Like a raise.
Instead Of
Going to a peace protest ...
Why Don't You...
... go to an Arctic Monkeys concert instead. Get there late and stand in something sticky. Four songs into the show, ditch Boyfriend and Friend of Boyfriend and go to the bar next door. Talk on cell phone and flirt with bartender who looks like Heath Ledger. Try to decide if the hipster boy across the room is a guy you used to date. LAST YEAR. Curse poor memory. Look for unattended cigarettes.
Instead Of
Laying around the house all day in your underwear ...
Why Don't You
... put on some pants and go check out the new Warhol exhibit at the MCA. Pretend to understand weirdo "Screen Test" videos of his freaky friends just staring at the camera. Decide it's okay to like the giant cat skeleton in the lobby better. Congratulate yourself on doing something cultural. Go home and watch TV in your underwear.
Tequila Red called it a day @ 3:42 PM
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