The Buzz
One day last week Dylan wasn't feeling well, so he stayed home by himself. This was his first time being home alone all day, so I left him with a supply of video games, books and movies to keep him busy. They day went along fine, his dad picked him up after work, and I stayed at the office late.
Josh got home that night before I did. When he took his overnight bag into the bedroom, he heard a noise. A quiet buzzing noise. He looked around. It wasn't the fan. Or the alarm clock. In fact, it seemed to be coming from my bedside drawer. A low, buzzing sound. Coming from my bedside drawer.
Oh yes. The boy found It. Turned It on. He's eleven, I'm sure he knew what It was. I could have died of embarassment.
But, you know, I remember being eleven too. Your parents leave you alone in the house, you go through their stuff. (Sorry, Mom.) That's just what kids do. (Sorry, Dad.) So I decided not to say anything. Instead I hid the object in question in a secure location and left a note in its place. The note read:
"Should you be looking in here? I DON'T THINK SO MR NOSYPANTS."
On the bright side, he doesn't seem to have discovered my stash of hardcore lesbian porn.
* * * * *
Meet Abby, our newest pet. Olivia brought her home after a trip to the flea market with one of her friends. Surprise! So far, this tiny $6 critter has cost Josh and I about $150. She's pretty fricking cute though. She stays.
On the way out:
* * * * *
Q. What do you do when one of your co-workers brings in a portfolio of modeling she did as a kid in the 80's?
A. Steal it and post copies in the employee lounge.
* * * *
Weekend Accomplishments:
Let boyfriend make breakfast, twice
Let boyfriend clean kitchen, twice
Let boyfriend paint living room
Let boyfriend treat me to sushi
Let boyfriend buy fancy accessories for new turtle
Let boyfriend buy Van Halen belt buckle for self
Went to Bears game without boyfriend
Took boyfriend to fabric store instead
Gosh, I was busy.
The boyfriend: hot, handy, not particular about his women
* * * * *
The new Grand Theft Coke commercial is sugary brilliance.
Josh got home that night before I did. When he took his overnight bag into the bedroom, he heard a noise. A quiet buzzing noise. He looked around. It wasn't the fan. Or the alarm clock. In fact, it seemed to be coming from my bedside drawer. A low, buzzing sound. Coming from my bedside drawer.
Oh yes. The boy found It. Turned It on. He's eleven, I'm sure he knew what It was. I could have died of embarassment.
But, you know, I remember being eleven too. Your parents leave you alone in the house, you go through their stuff. (Sorry, Mom.) That's just what kids do. (Sorry, Dad.) So I decided not to say anything. Instead I hid the object in question in a secure location and left a note in its place. The note read:
"Should you be looking in here? I DON'T THINK SO MR NOSYPANTS."
On the bright side, he doesn't seem to have discovered my stash of hardcore lesbian porn.
Meet Abby, our newest pet. Olivia brought her home after a trip to the flea market with one of her friends. Surprise! So far, this tiny $6 critter has cost Josh and I about $150. She's pretty fricking cute though. She stays.
On the way out:
Q. What do you do when one of your co-workers brings in a portfolio of modeling she did as a kid in the 80's?
A. Steal it and post copies in the employee lounge.
Weekend Accomplishments:
Let boyfriend make breakfast, twice
Let boyfriend clean kitchen, twice
Let boyfriend paint living room
Let boyfriend treat me to sushi
Let boyfriend buy fancy accessories for new turtle
Let boyfriend buy Van Halen belt buckle for self
Went to Bears game without boyfriend
Took boyfriend to fabric store instead
Gosh, I was busy.
The boyfriend: hot, handy, not particular about his women
The new Grand Theft Coke commercial is sugary brilliance.
Tequila Red called it a day @ 2:10 PM
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