The Meat Market

The cute butt pants mojo was working overtime last night, leading to a bizarro encounter in the produce section of my local Jewel.

ME: [Standing in front of the salads]
RANDOM GROCERY STORE GUY: Hi. Are you receptive to compliments?
ME: Always!
RGSG: I was just driving behind you on Western, and I have to say, you have the best ... bumper stickers.
ME: [Disappointed] Oh. Well, thanks.
RGSG: I don't smoke, but the way you were smoking was totally sexy.
ME: Um, okay. Thanks.
RGSG: I'm Random Grocery Store Guy, by the way. And you are...?
ME: Katie. Nice to meet you.
RGSG: Katie, do you have a boy-
ME: Yes.
RGSG: -friend?
ME: Yes.
RGSG: Too bad.
ME: Yep.
RGSG: He's one lucky duck.
ME: Thanks.
RGSG: [Looks at me, smiling]
ME: Well ... I'm just going to get my salad now.
RGSG: [Looks at me, smiling]
ME: So... thanks for the compliments.
RGSG: [Looks at me, smiling]
ME: See you around.
RGSG: I just came in to go to the bank.
ME: It's over there.
RGSG: You're really pretty.
ME: Boyfriend!
RGSG: Bye.

Grading Random Grocery Store Guy
ORIGINALITY: B
APPEARANCE: C-
ACTUALLY APPROACHING SOMEONE YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE: A+

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Promises, Promises

Tequila Red gets it in writing

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Whew
Big sloppy wet kisses to LaSalle Bank for not only pushing through my rent check but also negating the insane pile-up of overdraft fees. I love you, big faceless corporate institution!