His Turn

Tomorrow I'm headed home to Michigan for some quality time with the fam, and my Special Man Friend is coming with. For the record, this is the first time I've brought a boy home to meet the parents since 1994. HO. LEE. SHIT.

I'm actually not too worried about it though. I know Josh will like my parents, and they'll definitely like him. He's sweet, he makes me happy, and he's a Notre Dame fan. Seriously, what's not to love?

Maybe he should bring ice cream, just in case.

5 Phrases I Hope Not To Hear This Weekend
"When's the wedding?"
"Let's watch home videos!"
"Your daughter is very bendy."
"You did quit smoking, right?"
"So. This Half-Nekkid Thursday thing."

* * * * * *
Dear Notre Dame,

After last weekend, I just can't take more heartache. To string me along like that and not come through in those final crucial seconds ... it's just not right. Look, I know you didn't lose on purpose but it still hurt. Make it up to me, baby. Win Saturday. Win BIG. Beat those Mormons senseless. Shake down the thunder like you used to. And for godsake THROW THE BALL TO SAMARDZIJA.

Love,
TR


Dear Chicago White Sox,
Hang on .... let me check something ... nope, still don't care.
Whatevs,
TR


Dear Other Josh:
I know where your parents can get a new cat for cheap. Think about it.
Love,
TR

* * * * * *
FYI
Not everyone in my family loves Notre Dame.

My sister's husband: not amused