The Big Stink

This morning after the alarm went off, I hit the snooze button and snuggled back under the covers with my warm, sleepy boyfriend. We spooned close together and had almost drifted back into sleep when it happened. The last thing any girl wants to do in front of her new boyfriend. That's right, kids:

I farted.

Cut the cheese. Broke wind. Let one rip. Shot a bunny. It wasn't any cute little girly squeak either. Nope, this one was a real honker. And worst of all, I did it RIGHT ON HIM.

He tried to pretend he was sleeping but I knew better. After a few seconds of paralyzing mortification, I mumbled "well, pardon ME" and retreated to my side of the bed, silently cursing last night's Mexican food.

Yes, yes, I know. It's a normal bodily function, blahdee blah blah. So is poo, and I don't want him to see me doing that. But let's face it - The Fart is a landmark you must pass (heh) in every relationship. It's embarassing but it's also inevitable, and at some point you just have to be comfortable enough with each other to laugh off the occasional air biscuit. And for us to get to that point, something else is going to have to happen.

He's going to have to do it too.

Sunday's Dinner Menu:
• Beans
• Cheese
• Sauerkraut
• Chili
• Curry rice
• Broccoli
• Burritos as big as your head