My Little Poopsie
Last night at 9:00, I told the kids to go hop in bed and I'd be there shortly to tuck them in. Two minutes later they were standing in front of me again. "It smells like cat crap in my room," Dylan reported. "Yeah," said Olivia. "Totally pee-yoo."
"Oh my GOD," I said, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "You two will do anything to avoid bedtime. Look, I guarantee you there's no cat poop in your room. Cats aren't like puppies, okay? They don't just poo all over the house. They use LITTERBOXES, duh!"
But it did stink in Dylan's room. Bad. I was stumped. I looked in the closet. Nothing. Then I pulled back the curtain under Dylan's loft bed, where his little clubhouse is. Right there in the middle of all the pillows and blankets and stuffed animals sat a fresh pile of cat doody the size of a dinner plate.
WTF? No really. The CAT CRAPPED ON HIS PILLOW.
The kids ran to hide Dewey; I stomped off to get garbage bags, swearing a blue streak. In the kitchen, the pristine litterbox was all, "Hey, don't look at me." And in the depths of some closet, somewhere in my house, Dewey stroked his chin and grinned. "Check and mate, beeotch. Mwah ha ha ha ha!"
Asshole.
"Kitty," The Presidents of the United States of America
Puddle of Mudd, "She Hates Me"
"Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy
* * * * * *
Animals I Don't Loathe
B and Nicole have two adorable new baby boxer pups. Oh my lord, the cuteness.
More cavity-inducing photos here .
* * * * * *
Thanks, Mr. Kruesi!
My beloved (hack hack, cough cough) CTA has announced that they will indeed be closing el stations in my neighborhood while they make "improvements" over the next five years. How super-duper!
Toot toot!
* * * * * *
Two Trailer Park Girls Go Round the Outside
The moment we stepped into the bar* on Saturday night, Wendi and I remembered why we ditched this town to begin with. But we gamely paid our $2 cover, ordered up a couple of Old Styles and concentrated on avoiding eye contact with dorks in sports jerseys. Three Eminem songs and one ex-boyfriend-spotting later, we abandoned our beers and ran like the wind. "If I smell one more perm I'll barf," said Wendi. "And did you see how fat Chris is?" Plans were made to visit the Tiny Lounge this week, thus offsetting the imbalance in the universe.
*The Wounded Minnow was our second choice, but Big Eddie's sorely disappointed when all three (3) patrons inside failed to be someone we know and/or attractive and/or under 50.
"Oh my GOD," I said, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "You two will do anything to avoid bedtime. Look, I guarantee you there's no cat poop in your room. Cats aren't like puppies, okay? They don't just poo all over the house. They use LITTERBOXES, duh!"
But it did stink in Dylan's room. Bad. I was stumped. I looked in the closet. Nothing. Then I pulled back the curtain under Dylan's loft bed, where his little clubhouse is. Right there in the middle of all the pillows and blankets and stuffed animals sat a fresh pile of cat doody the size of a dinner plate.
WTF? No really. The CAT CRAPPED ON HIS PILLOW.
The kids ran to hide Dewey; I stomped off to get garbage bags, swearing a blue streak. In the kitchen, the pristine litterbox was all, "Hey, don't look at me." And in the depths of some closet, somewhere in my house, Dewey stroked his chin and grinned. "Check and mate, beeotch. Mwah ha ha ha ha!"
Asshole.
"Kitty," The Presidents of the United States of America
Puddle of Mudd, "She Hates Me"
"Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy
Animals I Don't Loathe
B and Nicole have two adorable new baby boxer pups. Oh my lord, the cuteness.
More cavity-inducing photos here .
Thanks, Mr. Kruesi!
My beloved (hack hack, cough cough) CTA has announced that they will indeed be closing el stations in my neighborhood while they make "improvements" over the next five years. How super-duper!
The CTA originally pledged that all neighborhood stations would stay open during renovation of the 9-mile line, which runs between the Loop and the Northwest Side ...
... "Residents and business owners along the Brown Line who were unequivocally and repeatedly told that there would not be station closings now understandably feel misled," [Aldermen] Schulter and Fritchey said in a statement. "The CTA has in fact decided to ignore our input and make our constituents pay the price for their errors."
... Brown Line stations at Damen, Montrose, Irving Park, Addison, Paulina, Southport, Wellington and Diversey will be closed temporarily on weekdays and weekends, although no adjacent stations will be closed at the same time, the CTA said.
Toot toot!
Two Trailer Park Girls Go Round the Outside
The moment we stepped into the bar* on Saturday night, Wendi and I remembered why we ditched this town to begin with. But we gamely paid our $2 cover, ordered up a couple of Old Styles and concentrated on avoiding eye contact with dorks in sports jerseys. Three Eminem songs and one ex-boyfriend-spotting later, we abandoned our beers and ran like the wind. "If I smell one more perm I'll barf," said Wendi. "And did you see how fat Chris is?" Plans were made to visit the Tiny Lounge this week, thus offsetting the imbalance in the universe.
*The Wounded Minnow was our second choice, but Big Eddie's sorely disappointed when all three (3) patrons inside failed to be someone we know and/or attractive and/or under 50.
Tequila Red called it a day @ 11:26 AM
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