Post-Marital Counseling

Everyone thinks I have a disgustingly healthy relationship with my ex-husband when the truth of the matter is, I still feel too guilty about the divorce to confront him when he's acting assy. Mostly I smile through gritted teeth and then go home and seethe. Except yesterday, when he pushed it too far and we had one of those good old knockdown dragout fights like we used to. It ended with me yelling, "Maybe then you'd get a girlfriend we'd ALL be a lot happier!" and slamming down the phone.

Someone PLEASE date my ex-husband. Please?

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A word of advice: do not under any circumstances pay money to see Nacho Libre. Also, do not pay with credit, seashells, heads of cattle, or necklaces made of reindeer antlers. It is one god-awful movie.


Jack Black owes me $15. Or, 2 goats and a bag of lemons.