Not Right Upstairs
Are you annoying enough to be my neighbor? Probably not, because the bar has been set pretty high. But take this quiz anyway to find out what it takes to drive me to drink on a daily basis!
1. When is a good time to do your laundry?
A) Whenever the hamper is full and you have enough for a couple of loads.
B) Every second day or so, to give the other people in the building a chance to do theirs too.
C) Every second of every minute of every day.
2. You told us dogs aren't allowed, but you have one. How often does this dog bark?
A) When it needs to go out.
B) When it gets excited.
C) Every second of every minute of every day.
3. Not many people vacuum wood floors, but you do! When do you vacuum?
A) During the day, since you stay home.
B) Midnight.
C) 6AM on weekends.
D) Half an hour before the maid arrives.
E) b, c & d
4. You decide to get surround sound for your TV [ed. note: ARGHHHHH]. Installation requires you to hammer nails directly into the floor - which also happens to be your neighbor's living room ceiling - for several hours on end. The ideal time to do this would be during the Bears / Saints NFC Championship game.
A) True
B) False, you halfwit.
5. Do you enjoy walking around in hardsoled shoes and/or high heels every moment of your life?
A) Why yes!
B) You know it!
C) Almost as much as I enjoy vacuuming at midnight!
6. Do you know how to park your car correctly?
A) Not a chance.
B) If by "correctly" you mean "mostly out of the street."
C) I park like an idiot.
EXTRA CREDIT: Since you control the thermostat, what is a good average temperature for the house?
A) 68 degrees
B) 70 degrees
C) The fourth circle of hell.
ANSWERS: Clearly, the only correct answer is moving.*
*NOTE: In all fairness, I should tell you that I like these people tremendously in person. It remains a fact, however, that they make me want to shove barbecue skewers into my eardrums at least once a day.
* * * * *
What were you doing exactly twelve years ago? I was trying, for the third consecutive day, to shove a small person out of my uterus. Happy Birthday Dylan!
1. When is a good time to do your laundry?
A) Whenever the hamper is full and you have enough for a couple of loads.
B) Every second day or so, to give the other people in the building a chance to do theirs too.
C) Every second of every minute of every day.
2. You told us dogs aren't allowed, but you have one. How often does this dog bark?
A) When it needs to go out.
B) When it gets excited.
C) Every second of every minute of every day.
3. Not many people vacuum wood floors, but you do! When do you vacuum?
A) During the day, since you stay home.
B) Midnight.
C) 6AM on weekends.
D) Half an hour before the maid arrives.
E) b, c & d
4. You decide to get surround sound for your TV [ed. note: ARGHHHHH]. Installation requires you to hammer nails directly into the floor - which also happens to be your neighbor's living room ceiling - for several hours on end. The ideal time to do this would be during the Bears / Saints NFC Championship game.
A) True
B) False, you halfwit.
5. Do you enjoy walking around in hardsoled shoes and/or high heels every moment of your life?
A) Why yes!
B) You know it!
C) Almost as much as I enjoy vacuuming at midnight!
6. Do you know how to park your car correctly?
A) Not a chance.
B) If by "correctly" you mean "mostly out of the street."
C) I park like an idiot.
EXTRA CREDIT: Since you control the thermostat, what is a good average temperature for the house?
A) 68 degrees
B) 70 degrees
C) The fourth circle of hell.
ANSWERS: Clearly, the only correct answer is moving.*
*NOTE: In all fairness, I should tell you that I like these people tremendously in person. It remains a fact, however, that they make me want to shove barbecue skewers into my eardrums at least once a day.
What were you doing exactly twelve years ago? I was trying, for the third consecutive day, to shove a small person out of my uterus. Happy Birthday Dylan!
Tequila Red called it a day @ 9:46 AM
Email This
