Chemistry Not Included

With more than a little trepidation, I reactivated my Nerve profile a few days ago. I tried the whole Nerve thing once, awhile back, and the results? Were not encouraging. I spent way more time writing "thanks but no" emails than "come here hotstuff" emails (because I'm a sucker and can't ignore people who tell me I'm bee-yoo-tee-full). The one or two dates I actually went on were entirely unmemorable. In the literal sense. Overall: lame. No buzz, as Uncle Grambo would say.

So why even bother, you ask? This is why. Oh my stars and garters, that boy is adorable. Look, he's brushing his teeth! How quirky! And only slightly contrived! Man, I want to lick his face. Boyfriend needs to email me, like yesterday, because I am one Chad away from chucking the whole thing.

[Yes, I understand that I could just buy some stupid credits and email him, but I don't want to and you can't make me. Who's running this show anyway? You're so bossy. God.]


Colin says: "Drop those zeros and get with a hero, baby."