Unacceptable

Overheard on the Brown Line this weekend:

TRIXIE: I just don't understand it! He did so good on my birthday last year. He got me an iPod, and a Tiffany bracelet, and he sent flowers to my office...

FRIEND: Yeah.

TRIXIE: But so what's the big deal about the Chanel sunglasses this year? Why won't he get them for me?

FRIEND: It's not fair!

TRIXIE: I mean, it's like the day means nothing to him.

FRIEND: God.

TRIXIE: I know what's going to happen. We'll be in Colorado for my birthday, and he's going to be all, "For your present I'm buying you a house." But GOD. The house won't even be until, like, February! I mean, that's not my birthday. God.

FRIEND: God.

TRIXIE: I know, right?

FRIEND: Seriously. What's wrong with him?

TRIXIE: I don't know. But that's unacceptable.

FRIEND: Unacceptable.

TRIXIE: He sucks.

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Friends, this is just one example of the devastation brought on by a lack of designer eyewear. And right now, Trixies around the country are suffering. Please, if you can give, donate the $500 sunglasses of your choice to Trixie, Don't Cry, a for-profit organization devoted to the relief of brainless bimbos with big meany boyfriends. Can't you help?

Please mail a checkbook or credit card to:

Trixie, Don't Cry
1800 Oblivion Avenue
Lincoln Park, Chicago

Thank you ... and Prada bless.