Baby Mania
This weekend we're throwing a baby shower for my sister-in-law, and I'm in charge of games. Clearly a lapse of judgement on someone's part.
Shower games are right between "get mauled by vicious dog" and "eat own vomit" on the list of Fun Things I Like To Do. No one enjoys them really, least of all the mother-to-be, and the prizes are universally lame. But you cannot have a baby shower without GAMES. I think that's in the Bible.
The following are all real baby shower games I found on the Internet. Please feel free to vote for the ones you'd like us to play on Sunday.
1. Mommy's Waistline
"A shower classic! Get a roll of ribbon or toilet paper. Have Mommy-to-be stand in the middle of the room. Approach each guest and have them estimate the circumference of Mommy's waist. The guest will tear or cut the length. Measure Mommy's waist and compare to each cutting. The closest wins!"
Also Known As:
Boy, You're Fat!
Let Me Paw Your Big Fat Stomach
What Do You Have In There Anyway, A Horse?
Popular With: touchy-feely old ladies, anorexic chicks
Fun Rating:
2. Teddy Bear Rotation
"Find a stuffed animal in your house such as a teddy bear. Pass the teddy bear around the room and ask everyone to kiss it. Don't tell them why yet. Starting with the first person you gave the teddy bear to, each person has to kiss the Mom-to-be in the same place that they kissed the teddy bear. This can be a great ice-breaker and a good way for the Mom-to-be to get to know all the guests."
Also Known As:
How She Got In This Situation To Begin With
Are You Pregnant Or Just Happy To See Me?
Let's All Share Germs
Popular With: sluts
Fun Rating:
3. Dress the Baby
"This was a great game for a coed party. Each of the women who were invited were told ahead of time to bring a diaper bag with an outfit to dress 'their baby'. As the couples arrived each was escorted to a private bedroom where the wives dressed their husbands as 'their babies'. All 8 couples cooperated and it was a hoot! Prizes were given for cutest, most authentic looking, humorous, and ugliest baby. All the husbands were great sports! In fact mine even went home dressed in his diaper!"
Also Known As:
We're In Therapy
All Our Friends Are In Therapy
My First Fetish
Oedipus Who?
Popular With: weird women, mama's boys
Fun Rating:
4. Empty That Bottle!
"This is game is really more fun to watch when its just for the guys, for those of you having a shower where everyone is invited! Fill as many 4 oz. (or smaller) baby bottles as you will need with water or juice (something they won't mind drinking), one for each male at the shower...fill the bottles equally so its fair for all! Time the guys with a stopwatch (or watch with a second hand) to see who can 'empty that bottle' the fastest! This game is really fun! Its a hoot watching grown men suck from a baby bottle! Make sure you have a 'manly' prize for the winner!"
Also Known As:
Kiss Your Manhood Goodbye, Sucker
Popular With: the completely immasculated
Fun Rating:
5. Yum Yum Diaper Race
"Before party starts, place one small scoop of Rocky Road ice cream in diaper and close diaper neatly. (One per guest.) When it is time to play this game, have all the guests sit around a table facing each other. When guests are ready, come out with tray filled with cute little diapers. Tell guests that they cannot touch diapers until host signals. Place cute diaper in front of each guest. When each guest has the diaper ask every one at the same time to open their diaper. Then they all immediately must place their hands behind their backs and on the count of 3, whoever eats all the ice cream first must stand up and raise their hand. That is the winner!"
Also Known As:
The Grossest Thing You Will Ever Do
Popular With: Anyone not present
Fun Rating: 0
6. Feel Up
"Two guests stand in the middle of the room facing each other. The hostess or a designated person then blindfolds each player. The hostess then strategically places 5 clothespin on each player. The players then must 'feel Up' the other player to find the clothespins. Whomever gets the most clothespins in the designated time (usually 1 minute) is the WINNER!"
Also Known As:
Kudos To Your Plastic Surgeon!
No, Those Aren't Buttons
Aunt Sally Just Touched Me Wrong
Popular With: perverts
Fun Rating:
7. Pin the Baby in the Mommy
"Make or find a big picture of a pregnant woman and another picture of a baby. The game is played just like Pin the Tale on the Donkey. The only difference is you pin the baby in the mommy. It's cute and everyone at the baby shower I threw really enjoyed it."
Also Known As:
So This Is What An Abortion Looks Like
Popular With: Gynos, NARAL
Fun Rating:
Nicole, this shower is going to be a hoot! A HOOT, I tell you!
Shower games are right between "get mauled by vicious dog" and "eat own vomit" on the list of Fun Things I Like To Do. No one enjoys them really, least of all the mother-to-be, and the prizes are universally lame. But you cannot have a baby shower without GAMES. I think that's in the Bible.
The following are all real baby shower games I found on the Internet. Please feel free to vote for the ones you'd like us to play on Sunday.
1. Mommy's Waistline
"A shower classic! Get a roll of ribbon or toilet paper. Have Mommy-to-be stand in the middle of the room. Approach each guest and have them estimate the circumference of Mommy's waist. The guest will tear or cut the length. Measure Mommy's waist and compare to each cutting. The closest wins!"
Also Known As:
Boy, You're Fat!
Let Me Paw Your Big Fat Stomach
What Do You Have In There Anyway, A Horse?
Popular With: touchy-feely old ladies, anorexic chicks
Fun Rating:
2. Teddy Bear Rotation
"Find a stuffed animal in your house such as a teddy bear. Pass the teddy bear around the room and ask everyone to kiss it. Don't tell them why yet. Starting with the first person you gave the teddy bear to, each person has to kiss the Mom-to-be in the same place that they kissed the teddy bear. This can be a great ice-breaker and a good way for the Mom-to-be to get to know all the guests."
Also Known As:
How She Got In This Situation To Begin With
Are You Pregnant Or Just Happy To See Me?
Let's All Share Germs
Popular With: sluts
Fun Rating:
3. Dress the Baby
"This was a great game for a coed party. Each of the women who were invited were told ahead of time to bring a diaper bag with an outfit to dress 'their baby'. As the couples arrived each was escorted to a private bedroom where the wives dressed their husbands as 'their babies'. All 8 couples cooperated and it was a hoot! Prizes were given for cutest, most authentic looking, humorous, and ugliest baby. All the husbands were great sports! In fact mine even went home dressed in his diaper!"
Also Known As:
We're In Therapy
All Our Friends Are In Therapy
My First Fetish
Oedipus Who?
Popular With: weird women, mama's boys
Fun Rating:
4. Empty That Bottle!
"This is game is really more fun to watch when its just for the guys, for those of you having a shower where everyone is invited! Fill as many 4 oz. (or smaller) baby bottles as you will need with water or juice (something they won't mind drinking), one for each male at the shower...fill the bottles equally so its fair for all! Time the guys with a stopwatch (or watch with a second hand) to see who can 'empty that bottle' the fastest! This game is really fun! Its a hoot watching grown men suck from a baby bottle! Make sure you have a 'manly' prize for the winner!"
Also Known As:
Kiss Your Manhood Goodbye, Sucker
Popular With: the completely immasculated
Fun Rating:
5. Yum Yum Diaper Race
"Before party starts, place one small scoop of Rocky Road ice cream in diaper and close diaper neatly. (One per guest.) When it is time to play this game, have all the guests sit around a table facing each other. When guests are ready, come out with tray filled with cute little diapers. Tell guests that they cannot touch diapers until host signals. Place cute diaper in front of each guest. When each guest has the diaper ask every one at the same time to open their diaper. Then they all immediately must place their hands behind their backs and on the count of 3, whoever eats all the ice cream first must stand up and raise their hand. That is the winner!"
Also Known As:
The Grossest Thing You Will Ever Do
Popular With: Anyone not present
Fun Rating: 0
6. Feel Up
"Two guests stand in the middle of the room facing each other. The hostess or a designated person then blindfolds each player. The hostess then strategically places 5 clothespin on each player. The players then must 'feel Up' the other player to find the clothespins. Whomever gets the most clothespins in the designated time (usually 1 minute) is the WINNER!"
Also Known As:
Kudos To Your Plastic Surgeon!
No, Those Aren't Buttons
Aunt Sally Just Touched Me Wrong
Popular With: perverts
Fun Rating:
7. Pin the Baby in the Mommy
"Make or find a big picture of a pregnant woman and another picture of a baby. The game is played just like Pin the Tale on the Donkey. The only difference is you pin the baby in the mommy. It's cute and everyone at the baby shower I threw really enjoyed it."
Also Known As:
So This Is What An Abortion Looks Like
Popular With: Gynos, NARAL
Fun Rating:
Nicole, this shower is going to be a hoot! A HOOT, I tell you!
Tequila Red called it a day @ 11:20 AM
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