Boyfriend-Girlfriend

My friend called the other day to see if I wanted to have a drink after work. "I'd love to but I can't," I told her. "I have to pick my boyfriend up from the airport."

She waited for the punchline.

"No, really," I said. "BOYFRIEND."

Cricket, cricket.

"I don't get it," she said.

My friends know me pretty well. Most of them have known me for a long time. But never have they known me to use the word Boyfriend without the accompanying smirk or eyeroll. Even with the Evil Ex there was a certain irony in the B-word since 1) he performed little to no boyfriendly duties, and 2) he spent a considerable amount of time putting his dick into other people. But I still tossed around Boyfriend willy-nilly over the years, using it to describe any and every guy I dated, wanted to date, slept with, wanted to sleep with, smiled at, talked to, made out with, saw in a movie, stood close to or looked at twice. "Boyfriend" was merely another word for "boy." Any boy. Many boys.

I'm not doing much better with the "Girlfriend" side of things either, to be frank. The very word makes my palms sweat and my feet itch and in my head it's always followed by that needle-across-the-record sound. Rrrrrrrp! Whenever Concert Josh says "my girlfriend," I have to stifle the urge to turn around and see who the hell he's talking about. Girlfriend? Where?

And yet here we are. Me and my boyfriend. Keeping toothbrushes in each other's medicine cabinets and mailing in wedding reply cards marked "2" and offering rides home from the airport. It's weird and alien and a bit Growned Up for my peter pan side, but it also makes me strangely happy. He makes me happy.

Hey, I don't get it either.

3 Signs of the Apocalypse






Tequila Red with Boyfriend