Hi, My Name Is...

Whenever a potential client comes into The Jeeb, ill-conceived attempts at brown-nosing inevitably ensue. Today it's the pancake people and name tags. Instead of throwing mine straight into the trash like it deserves, I decided to get into the spirit of things and pin it on. After a few slight customizations, of course.

The CEO actually gave this his blessing. Sucka!

The Cost of Puppy Sitting:
One extremely cute pair of red undies.


One Word Oscar Summaries
Because brevity is the soul of wit, and also excellent when you're lazy.

Chris Rock: heh
Sean Penn: ass
The Aviator: shuddup
Antonio Banderas: shampoo
Antonio Banderas: shuddup
Beyonce: again?
Beyonce: SHUDDUP
Cate Blanchett: adorable
Kirsten Dunst: wig
Jake Gyllenhaal: yummers
Penelope Cruz: assbow
Kate Winslet: tittilating
Natalie Portman: yowza
Charlize Theron: scary
Morgan Freeman: love
Charlie Kaufman: LOVE
Josh Groban: die
The Nard: die
Prince: unimpressed
P. Diddy: confused
Johnny Depp: shave
Hillary Swank: yawn
Jamie Foxx: rerun
Clint Eastwood: eh
Million Dollar Baby: whatever

Kindly Refrain From Boiling My Bunny

The kids were out rollerblading today when they found this carved into the side of the house next door:



It faces right into my dining room, so of course I had a minor heart attack. Crazy Michigan Guy's idea of a romantic Valentine's gift, perhaps.

I dragged one of the cops outside for a closer look. He laughed and laughed. "Oh that's been there for like 10 years," he said. He looked at me all, Get over yourself lady, and went back upstairs to his TV. I felt a little foolish and a lot relieved.

This Public Service Announcment brought to you by Mace™: Just a spray a day keeps the crazies away!

Teacher's Pet

My boss loves me so much he wants to have my babies. Best. Review. EVS.

I Believe You Have My Stapler

Today is Annual Review Day for me too. My favorite part of the process is the dumbshit questionnaire they make you fill out in advance. Crap like, "How does this person contribute to the Agency growth and strive to make a DIFFERENCE?" I find that a fun way to shake things up is to start off your answer in office-speak and then tack on inappropriate stuff at the end. So a good answer to the above question would be: "I suggested that all presentations, even non-creative ones, come through me for proofreading first, so the agency looks smart and buttoned down. Speaking of buttons, I also wear a lot of lowcut tops, which is helpful for agency morale." Usually my boss is mostly amused and only slightly exasperated, but he kicked this one back for some reason.

Q. What is one innovative BIG IDEA this person brought to the business?
A. When asked to join the Stamford team on the Sc----- pitch, Peggy and I came up with an arresting, 100% on-strategy TV commercial that would have undoubtedly been a feather in The Jeeb's cap, had the stupid clients not gone and gotten themselves fired. Jerks.

Hmm, I smell a raise!
"Step Into My Office Baby" - B&S

*    *    *    *    *
Bye Bye Baby
Today is Crystal's last day as our receptionist, since that tramp went and got herself a better job. The men in our office are inconsolable.

¡Hot mamacita!
I'm bummed too, because now I'll have to spend the first half hour of my day actually working instead of gossiping about last night's antics over coffee. The new receptionist does not seem all that receptive.

*    *    *    *    *
Songs I'd Like to Hear Live This Weekend But Won't
Gore Gore Girls - "Up All Night"
Modest Mouse - "Neverending Math Equation (live)"
M Ward - "Carolina"

It's Good to Have Dreams

Dominicks on Broadway Monday Morning - m4w - 28
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Reply to: anon-61157929@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-02-24, 2:23PM CST

You were the hottest woman I have ever seen in my entire life. Blonde hair, tall, tan, perfect fitting jeans! Damn, you have to be a model. You left with that guy in the BMW....Please contact me!

Not THAT Sean

Go read Sean's blog already. And not just because he says nice things about me either.

A Bad Sign

How to tell if your date is reconsidering her crush:

1. She asks her sister to come sit on the couch and watch the movie with you.

2. She drags her sister in from the next room to come sit on the couch and watch the movie with you.

3. She curses her sister for going to bed at the completely unreasonable hour of 11:30, that ho.

4. She won't kiss you.

5. She wants to leave the house and go to a crowded bar because a guy she likes works there.

6. She makes you leave the bar when that guy is not working.

7. She flirts with the geezer behind the counter at the 7-11 when you go in to buy more beer.

8. She drinks more than you do.

9. She still won't kiss you.

10. She goes to the bathroom and comes back in flannel pajamas.

11. She yawns theatrically and then feigns sleep on the couch.

12. She finally kisses you but can't breathe when you try to swallow her entire face.

13. You ask for another date and she says, "Okey-dokey! I'll call you!"

14. She doesn't have your number.

15. She doesn't have a phone.

16. She mocks you to all the world in her blog the next day.

Poor guy. He's actually very sweet and smart and cute and blah blah blah. But the sexy self-assurance he had the night we met has totally vamoosed. Also missing: a little thing I like to call Chemistry. I'm not sure what happened, but it was kind of like going on a date with your friend's little brother or something. And he's older than me.

I'm almost tempted to see him one more time though. I mean, anyone can be thrown off their game by a bad case of nerves, right? And I really liked him the night we met. I know what you're thinking: I bring this shit on myself. You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. You wouldn't want me any other waaaaaaaaaaaay.

Dating Advice From Tequila Red
French movies about brothers and sisters who have disturbing and highly graphic sexual encounters are not the best choice for a first date. Dorky comedies, horror films, and movies where a lot of stuff gets blown up are all far less likely to make you look like a complete perv. Just an FYI.

Private Benjamin Reporting

Our Esteemed Leader is visiting my old base in Germany today. I know I don't talk much here about my days in the Army (and some of you are like, wha? Army??), but man, I loved it. Not to go all Uncle Rico on your ass, but those were probably three of the best years of my life. No, really.

I was living in Europe, madly in love with my husband and baby, with the best job in the world. As a deejay on the military radio station, my show went out to 56 countries, from Scotland down to Saudi Arabia. I met Joan Jett and Alice Cooper, watched a Bulls game with Billy Corgan, and took Shaquille O'Neal shopping at the PX. I sat in tiny studio with Jeff Buckley while he sang "Last Goodbye" less than a year before the world lost him forever. Every woman at the station had a massive crush on that man.

Eric and I traveled whenever we got the chance: long weekends in Paris, side trips to Italy and Belgium, drives along the Rhine River. I've been to Oktoberfest and skiied in the Alps. I've seen the Mona Lisa and the David, kissed my husband atop the Eiffel Tower and under the Bridge of Sighs. I stood on the spot where my grandfather was held as a POW in WWII, now an empty meadow with a few stone foundations buried under the weeds as the only trace it was ever there.

My Army friends were the kind of friends who wander into your house without knocking and help themselves to the contents of your fridge. We spent holidays together, took vacations together, our kids were playmates. On more than one occasion, we woke up after a late night out with everyone piled comfortably in the same bed, like a litter of puppies. Drunk puppies, maybe, but you get the point. They were like family.

Not that everything was sunshine and roses, mind you. Eric was deployed for almost a year during the Bosnian conflict, leaving me to parent a toddler alone - no easy task when you're 20. Grama came to help, but she was sick with cancer and often I ended up taking care of her too. And then my circle of friends came apart at the seams. There was a phone call one night, when my friend L was working the late shift at the radio station. He calmly informed me that he was in love with me, that he'd already told his wife "everything." His wife, my best friend. Nothing had ever even happened but she still wanted nothing to do with any of us, and there was just no way to fix it.

I heard they eventually patched things up, and that they're now working at the American Embassy in the French Congo. My other friends have likewise scattered, coast to coast, Germany, the Phillipines, and of course, Iraq. From time to time I toy with the idea of looking them up, but I never follow through. I guess I just don't know what you say after so many years. And maybe it's better to just leave some things as they are. How does that saying go? "The past is behind us. It'd be really confusing if not." Or possibly I just made that up. Don't question my authority, soldier.

Now drop and give me twenty.

Metric "Combat Baby"
gbv "My Kind of Soldier"
* * * * *
The kids' school requires them to write their homework assignments down every day in special pre-printed notebooks. There's a section for teachers or parents to comment in, but sometimes Dylan writes little notes to himself or things about his day there instead. Yesterday's comment made me laugh:

What if I was a pencil?

Weirdo.
* * * * *
Date with John Dynamite tonight! We're ordering in Thai food and watching movies and making out. I have this movie from Blockbuster, but it might be a little much for a first date. You think?

Dear Wendi,

Please come home late and make lots of noise unlocking the door.

Love,
Your sister

Music For Hot Dates
Air, "Venus"
Mum, "Nightly Cares"
Sufjan Stevens, "That Dress Looks Nice On You"
Comas, "Falling"
Elliott Smith, "Say Yes"
Jeff Buckley, "Lover You Should Have Come Over"

Newsflash: Winter Sucks le Big One

Three years ago today I was in Chile, working my sunburn, sipping yummy pisco sours, and making time with sassy Latin American men. God DAMN but I'm sick of this fricking snow.

The Eff Winter Playlist
American Analog Set, "Weather Report"
Clearlake, "Wonder If the Snow Will Settle"
Hood, "Winter Will Set You Back"
Aisler Set, "Hit the Snow"
Pedro the Lion, "The Longest Winter" and "When They Really Get to Know You They Will Run"

But Isn't She Usually?

Someone found my blog today by Googling "bai ling semi nude."

My Lucky Number

Seven good things about this weekend:

1. Dignity
My girls and I managed a Friday night at the Tiny Lounge that didn't end with drunken whipped cream fights and implied lesbianism. Two respectable beers each and we took our leave, sober and infinitely more boring. Sorry Mark!

2. Free Booze
Peter has never charged me for a drink. Ever. I kind of love him.

3. Napoleon Dynamite
The theme of a loft party Wendi and I hit on Saturday night. Sweet! Glamour Shots by Deb, a dance off, a skillz contest, and best of all, a very cute boy who insisted I make out with him in the corner all night. I hit the jackpot this time: he's hott AND he's in a band AND he has a job AND he has his own car. Plus, I'm a sucker for a beard. That's him on the left. Aw, isn't he cute? We have a date on Wednesday.


John Dynamite, me, Wendi, and Stinky Pete

4. Markers
The message board outside the bathroom at the Napoleon Dynamite party:


5. Sunrise
I'm old, but every now in then it's good to stay out until the sun comes up. Especially when you can sleep til the sun goes back down again.

6. OK Go
My new favorite band to see live. They started with my most favoritest song and ended with a lip-synched boy band dance routine that nothing short of brilliant. No one has more fun on stage than these four fine fellows, and it wasn't too bad on the audience side either. Hey, the indie kids are learning to dance again! A+

7. Presidents
But not the current one. I will take the day off though. See you all tomorrow, then.

Truth In Advertising

When it comes to dating, honesty is always the best policy:

Sneak Preview

Ta-da! Meet the new Tequila Red design!
Almost there ... so what do you think? Love it or hate it?

This Oughta Be Good

Buckle up, kids. Tequila Red is ready to start dating again.

As most of you know, I've spent the past couple of years tangled up with someone who is a complete jackhole. I was smitten; he couldn't be bothered, and the less said about that, the better. During the Off parts of that on-again-off-again thing, I did sometimes date other people. Terrible first-slash-last dates, mostly, but there were a few dudes who lasted entire months. Even those were flimsy, unmemorable flings, though, for the most part, and usually sort of petered out unnoticed. Quick story: I was in a bar recently when I noticed this hott hipster boy staring at me. But as he left he gave me a really mean look, and that was when I realized I'd actually already dated him. For several months. Earlier that year. Cripes.

Aaaaanyway, my point is, I was in it but not to win it. After every date, I had some version of this conversation with my friends:

THEM: So, how did it go?
ME: I don't know. It was okay, I guess.
THEM: But do you like him?
ME: Eh. He's pretty cute.
THEM: Will you see him again, do you think?
ME: I don't know. Maybe. Hey, what's on TV tonight?
THEM: You are going to die alone.

The new theory I'm working from is this - if that dink Train Boyfriend can make me all tingly and weak-kneed and goosebumpity, surely someone else can. Right? I'm not looking for my baby daddy or anything, but it would be nice to have somebody to make out with in the back of a taxi or take to the Tiny on a Wednesday night. So maybe I'll dust off the ole Nerve profile and give it a whirl. Or maybe I'll spot someone worthwhile in the crowd at the Hidden Cameras show tonight and charm his pants off. Either way, I guess I'd better start shaving my legs again.

Hidden Cameras
Subterranean
2011 North Ave
10 PM
$10
"Boys of Melody"

Love Thy Neighbor

Yesterday afternoon, Dylan and I were on our way home from Trader Joe's when I saw The Wolfman walking down the street. It was pouring rain and freezing out, and I was feeling charitable, so I pulled up next to him and rolled down the window. "Hey you," I called. "Need a ride somewhere?" Except when he looked over, it totally wasn't The Wolfman. "That's okay," said Random Scruffy Dude cheerily. "I live right over there. But thanks anyway!" Too bad. He was kind of hot.

"The Kindness of Strangers" - American Analog Set

Something strange is going on.

I woke up with the weirdest feeling today, sort of like the planet had tilted slightly on its axis while I was asleep. I goofed off with my (very hungover) sister and was pleasant to my children. They both kissed me goodbye when I dropped them off at school. Walking to the el, I stepped right out into traffic without paying attention to the light and no one ran me over or even flipped me the bird. I smiled at a dorky guy making puppy eyes at me on the train, and flirted with a bike messenger in the elevator. Then I sat right down at at my desk and wrote a few good (!) headlines without even checking my email first. My skin is clear and my hair looks excellent.

Whoa, I just figured it out.

I'm in a good mood.

I know! First thing in the morning too! What the hell? But wait, there's more! It's not just a random happy-to-be-alive, yay-my-favorite-song-is-on-the-radio good mood. There's also this bizarro element of anticipation to it. Like something thrilling is getting ready to happen. Today. Now. Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket, or call that headhunter. Definitely I should put the moves on any/all cute boys who cross my path (exempt: Train Boyfriend).

Oh whatever, stop rolling your eyes like that. We both know this junk won't last. I'll be back to my bitchass self tomorrow at the latest. But meanwhile, STAY TUNED: everyone's fabulous blog re-designs have inspired me. New Tequila Red in the works.

Kisses, all you wonderful people!

Tequila Red

[EDITED TO ADD: No, mom, I'm not high. But thanks for asking.]

Happy Happy Songs To Irritate Your Fellow Starbucks Patrons With
The Shins (of course)
Ben Folds Five
Scissor Sisters
Ash
Tahiti80

Candy for you.

If you were expecting me to post a bitter, angry diatribe against Valentine's Day, well, how wrong you were. You should be ashamed of yourself, really. Clearly I have better things to do with my time.

Happy VD, yo

Well, that's one theory.

On my way home from work Friday night, an old Russian man treated our entire el car to a free helping of Crazy.

“It’s all about the leeches. LEECHES. Is very simple. You believe in bloodsuckers, you go to heaven. You no believe in bloodsuckers you no go to heaven. Always remember: Hepatitis! It all began when a Rabbi circumcised three boys. . .”

Then the doors opened on my stop and thank Jeebus I missed the rest.

Lent! The Musical

Since yesterday was Ash Wednesday, there are a lot of grumpy folk in the world going without chocolate/alcohol/sex/swear words today. In short: everything I get out of bed for. As a Reformed Catholic (read: hellbound, totally), I don't participate in the whole Lent-Easter-God dealio. Jesus = cool dude but not actually my homeboy. Still, I like the idea of Lent. Giving up something you love for 40 days, cold turkey, just because. I'd like to give it a whirl, but I'm not sure what to forfeit.

Sex
I've been on a voluntary (shut up) Sex Lent for like the past year, so that's out. (And somewhere in Michigan my dad is all, "LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU.")

Cigs
No. If I quit smoking, everyone at work will shoot me in the face because, a) I turn into a shrieking ball of Bitch without my nicotine fix, and b) my only good ideas come on smoke breaks.

Booze
Maybe. Except I'm kind of in detox-mode now anyway, and also: let's be realistic here.

No, I want to give up something GOOD, something I'd really miss. Like picking at my split ends. Or Craigslist. Flirting with my Hot Married Boyfriends, the Delgados, saying the word "like" instead of "said." Hairspray. Snarky comments made juuuuuust under the breath. Diet Coke. Defamer. I've already given up all my TV shows because they stink. (Coupling without Jeff? Whatever dude.) I guess I could give up stealing music, but then I wouldn't be able to listen to yummy songs like this. Probably I should give up dating sexy hipster boys who think a great date is a Schlitz at the Goldstar followed by a quick grope in my car. But then what would I write about here?

Ah, to hell with it. This whole Lent thing is too hard. Let's not and say we did.
* * * * *
Sleater Kinney, "All Hands On the Bad One"
Hefner, "The Hymn For the Cigarettes"
"To Hell With Good Intentions," mclusky

Will You Miss Me When I'm Farn?

Smell ya later dude!



I'm only sad because it means the end of my fantastic Kyle Farnsworth slack-jawed-nobody's-home-man-I-was-HAMMERED-last-night-heh-heh-wha? impression.


FAN: The Tigers? Who's kicking themselves now, bitch?

The Mind Reels

The Hell?
Why do I keep getting Christian spam?

Note To Self
Dude, some people have to write down EVERYTHING.

(via Found Magazine)

Nope, Not That Bored Yet
You can indeed do anything online.

4 Songs I Enjoy
Red Telephone "Institution Street"
"Say You Miss Me," Wilco
The Symphony-meets-Weezer in "Say It Ain't So"
!!!, "Me & Guiliani Down By The Schoolyard"

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

Best Line of the Day
"I was going to say something, but I thought he was retarded."

Bad to Worse

Me [walking into my boss's office for a conference call with Important Client]: So, do you really need me on this call or can I go do some real work?

Speakerphone: Who was that?

Boss points at me and silently mouths the words "dead" and "meat."

The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Morning

It was a Jerry Springer morning at my house. Doors were slammed, people yelled, and I almost got run over by both a street sweeper and a Coke truck. I admit that I was a total harpy, but Dylan was pushing every last one of my buttons. Here's a free piece of advice: never cut your bangs when you're in a rage. On the list of bad ideas, it's right up there with Drunk Dialing Your Boss and the All-Velveeta Diet.

Artist's rendering of the atrocity:


Also.
If a certain chick at work keeps referring to meetings as "downloads," I cannot be held responsible.

With Friends Like Her

Friday*
I have to stop making an ass of myself at The Tiny, or else they're gonna start turning off the lights and locking the doors, all "Shhhhh!" when they see me coming. Melinda, you should know I fully blame you for this. Why oh WHY would you let me order those last few martinis? [SIDE NOTE: Cosmos?! We're nerds!] Because FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS ACT ASSY IN THEIR FAVORITE BAR. Der! I learned that in like first grade!

* I was actually supposed to have a blind CL date (read: free tickets) to the Secret Machines show at Metro on Friday night, but that fell through after my non-date tried and failed to get the tickets back from the friend he gave them to when he couldn't find a date. Then I was too dumb to go get Earlimart tickets at Schubas, which I'm pretty sure is somehow also Melinda's fault.

Saturday
Wendi had a similarly exhausting Friday night, except hers was funnier because she drunk dialed random dudes she hasn't seen in YEARS. So instead of going out, we rented a bunch of old Cary Grant and Gregory Peck movies from the library [see "nerds" above] and spent Saturday night holding down the couch. Whee!

Sunday
On Sunday I took my short roommates ice skating and then concentrated all my efforts on avoiding the Stupor Bowl. Instead I did a little thing I like to call "Reading a Russian Novel So People Will Think You Are Smarter." All points were erased from my Culture Column, however, by the ensuing 2 hours spent playing X-box. [NERD]

* * * * * *
[This story deleted after the dude in question mentioned that he reads my blog. Dun dun DUN.]

Okay, that's all I got. Here's a song by one of the bands Melinda wouldn't let me see on Friday night. Snoochie boochie!

Excedrin Written All Over It

Drinking for charity is always a good time, except when you wake up the next morning with a buzzsaw blazing through your skull. People, never in my life have I had a headache this bad. I had to crawl to the phone to let my boss know I wouldn't be in. Ever again. Naturally, the schmos at work picked that exact moment to decide that they couldn't live without me. So the phone rang of the fricking hook ALL DAMN DAY. Okay, pop quiz. You need a headline written ASAP. Who do you call? A) the freelance writer actually in the office and getting paid obscene amounts of money to write whatever you want, or B) the staff writer out sick, curled up in bed in the fetal position whimpering and trying to keep her skull from disintegrating every time the phone rings? Yeah, that's a toughie.

* * * * * *
If you think haiku is hi-larious, get your nerdy self over to Haiku Hos for some 5-7-5 hottness courtesy of Sugar and yours truly.

* * * * * *
So, Million Dollar Baby. Meh. I mean it was good and I enjoyed it and everything, but movie of the year? No. Save it for a rental.

In other movie doings, Brew and View is hosting a Shaun of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead double feature next Monday. Everyone who doesn't have small children totally ruining their social lives should make plans to attend.

* * * * * *
Tonight the peeps appear to be going to a place called Minx for an alleged "cocktail reception." No disrespect, dudes, but doesn't this sound funner?

Before Sunrise, Before Sunset @ Film Center

Richard Linklater's two films Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are playing at the Siskel Film Center starting tonight and running through Wednesday, February 9. If you've missed one or both of these films, now's your chance to see them both back-to-back! And yes, you will get reduced admission if you buy tickets for both movies at the same time. Siskel Film Center: 164 N. State. (312) 846-2600. (via Gapers Block)

* * * * * *
Apropos of Nothing
Mark Stoermer of so-so band The Killers is my new boyfriend.

Yummers.

Here is a Pinback song I like, and a Rilo Kiley song I love.

* * * * * *
This cat is creeping me out.

Quiet Please

Stayed home today with a splitting headache that may or may not be a direct result of the excessive drinking that occured last night at The Long Room, L & L, and the Gingerman. Back tomorrow.

Hi Dr. Dave!

So Much For That: Part II

My Train Boyfriend hates me. I don't want to talk about it.

Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle K

Finally!
Keanu gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. (via Defamer)


Most Excellent!

Coming soon: stars for Skeet "You Mean That's Not Johnny Depp?" Ulrich, Dustin "Stop Calling Me Screech" Diamond, and The Rock.

* * * * * *
Pitchfork's semi-favorable-for-them review of the debut record by local rocker boys Chin Up Chin Up (released in friggin October - way to be timely, PF) posted today. I saw CUCU when they opened for AmAnSet last year and totally dug their lush, surreal sound. Check out a couple of tracks from the album, and come see them with me on Feb 19 or Feb 20, yes yes?

* * * * * *
You: Wearing red. Me: Turned on!
There are right and wrong times to pick someone up. Which do you think this falls under?

Giant Rollover 2 Car Accident on I-88 - you were the EMT - w4m - 26
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Reply to: anon-57941011@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-02-01, 9:06AM CST

I wasn't going to stop since I saw your pickup with FF plates and figured that you'd have already called the accident in and handled the injured. I figured that with an accident like that, however, you might have needed some help.

I mean, that accident looked... horrific. I couldn't believe that both passengers just walked away from that.

You were just getting off of work, and work as a paramedic or EMT.

I was an EMT in a past life.

You're really really cute. And funny. And freezing.

As an aside: I was heading to my parents because I was upset about being laid off from my job. When I saw that accident, I realized I really don't have jack shit to complain about. Life, as they say, could always be worse. I'm glad that everyone looked like they were okay.

* * * * * *
My new favorite shirt. Thrifted in the great city of Elkhart, IN for all of 75 cents.



Okay. You can stop staring at my chest now, perv.

* * * * * *
Ya think?
Page Six continues with the hallowed tradition of stating the completely fucking obvious:

HARD TO STOMACH

BAI Ling shocked audiences at the Rotterdam Film Festival with her new short, "Dumplings." The sexy Chinese actress plays a Hong Kong woman who serves dumplings made from aborted fetuses to rich women hoping to regain their youth. One bloody scene involving a pregnant schoolgirl proved especially disturbing to young viewers at a late-night screening, reports The Post's V.A. Musetto.

P.S. Bai Ling so nasty.

* * * * * *
So Much For That
Saw my Train Boyfriend finally last night. Naturally, I buried my face in a book and hid at the end of the platform to avoid him. Because I'm stoopid that way.