America's Dirtiest City

One thing I love about this town is that we are, by and large, a lewd and crude crowd. Now Reader's Digest has crowned us America's Dirtiest City. What an honor! Also: good call.

Here in Chicago we have Naked Bike Rides, the annual International Male Leather Convention, sex shops and adult bookstores on every corner, Porn Bloggers on the front page of our papers, and articles about swinging inside. Hookers frolic in joyful abundance along Western Avenue, and the Chicago Craigslist Casual Encounters board is teeming with horndogs who want to do naughty things for free. We have bathhouses, classes on how to get freaky, the world's worst sex columnist, and Crazy Mary, the thoroughly insane homeless woman who shows you her scary parts if you decline to give her money. Plus, you do not even know how much I love a good dirty martini. So, yay! Go Chicago! We're number one! Take THAT, San Francisco. Prudes.

Oh, except actually? It turns out we're just the grossest city in the country.

Whatever, I like mine better.



[Edited to add: See?]

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Happy Father's Day, Pops
I love ya, you old golfdog.