Train Boyfriend II

Since I corn-plain about the el regularly in this space, I thought it might be a nice change of pace to talk about something pleasant that happened to me on the train. Namely, THE PRETTIEST MAN IN SHEEKAGO SITTING HIS FINE ASS DOWN NEXT TO ME THIS MORNING. Hoo boy, the hottness. I mean, yum. Also: !!!!!!!!! He was dressed kind of nerdy (note to the fellas: Dockers don't do nobody no favors) but underneath the blue buttondown lurked true Rhett Miller Rockstar Potential -- big pouty lips, long eyelashes, sexxy hands. And he was reading! An actual book! Without pictures! And I bet he has a job! And our legs and arms were touching! And it was a very comfortable space-sharing arrangement! And when he got up to let me off, I very nearly kissed him right on the mouth!

These kinds of things should happen to me more often.

Fripperies
Is it unitelligible spam or a secret message? You decide!

VlAnd so, joined now by the other stragglers, and numbering in all aAGRA ClALBut unfortunately, sir uncle, he is a little efore him in all those wild years of filibustering.

for VERY REASONABLE PRlCEmy ways are not the ways of Levasseur, who should have stayed inS. With eAnd against whom should he be in action but against friends of oursach purchase you get Top quaIidressed without fripperies, and bore with him an air of vigorousty

Just try us and you will not be diwith other things, that the fellow seemed suddenly to stiffen, andsappointed!

Ah, all those wild years of filibustering. Now they bore me with their air of vigorousty. How andsappointing!

BUSTED
Ruh-roh. Someone put this sign on my office door last night:

How have I not been fired yet?